One skill I have studied over the course of my 30-year career as a trial lawyer is the art of inquiry. From initial client meetings to preliminary investigation to cross-examination, good information flows from strategic, thoughtful questioning. The same principle is true when building personal relationships. Although the topics will be different, the dynamic is the same: Good conversation sparks chemistry.

When you meet someone new, you build a sense of connection through factors such as mutual attention, shared interests, authenticity, and respect. Yet, enjoyable conversation requires pre-planning in terms of topics, optics, and physical comfort.

I have previously written about the value of conversation in building relationships. But what do you talk about? Especially at a social event where mingling is expected, the goal is to ask about something another party guest would enjoy discussing, like what is on their bucket list and why. Learning whether someone is excited to go ziplining, cave exploring, or skydiving also tells you something about their plans and personality, and........

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