Friendships are not meant to last forever unless both friends are willing to put in the work to maintain them.

Not all distance reflects friendship neglect, sometimes it's life and sometimes it's imbalance.

Both receiving and giving support in friendships increases our well-being.

Editing relationships can be tough to do, but it can pay off in meaningful ways.

At some point in midlife, when we feel that a friend is "MIA" or always declining invitations to get together, we may find ourselves wondering: Is my friend really busy or am I the only one keeping this friendship alive?

It’s not an easy question to ask, and it’s even harder to answer. Because by this stage of life, we understand something we didn’t always appreciate in earlier years: Friendships don’t sustain themselves. They evolve over time — sometimes deepening, sometimes loosening, and sometimes asking us to decide whether they still fit who we are becoming.

Friendship Was Never Meant to Be Effortless

We often carry the idea that close friendships should feel easy or almost automatic. But over the lifespan, friendships don’t remain static. They require what we might think of as mutual responsiveness over time. If we are growing and changing as people, it’s only natural that our friendships will need to grow and change, too.

That doesn’t mean constant emotional labor or daily contact. It means showing up in sustainable ways: reaching out from time to time, remembering the moments that matter, circling back after life gets hectic, and being willing to repair small misunderstandings. When this rhythm is shared, it seldom feels like “work.” It simply feels like connection. Research has consistently linked friendship quality, and even the effort we put into maintaining friendships, to greater well-being and life........

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