What Are You Afraid Would Happen If You Changed?
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Personality traits that cause problems for us can also come with benefits we're reluctant to give up.
We often avoid healthy change because we’re afraid of the possibility of a negative outcome.
Small behavioral experiments help us evaluate those fears and build more flexible personality patterns.
Have you ever wished it was easier to say “no” to requests you really didn’t want to do? What about wishing you were better at delegating or asking for help? Or maybe you’ve wondered what life would be like if you were a little bit more fun-loving and carefree.
You know shifting these traits would be good for you, but when the opportunity arises to choose a different response (someone asks you to take the lead on a new project), you stay stuck in the same old patterns (saying “yes” when you’re already overloaded).
We tend to think about change in terms of what we stand to gain. But sometimes, what keeps us stuck is what we're afraid we might lose.
The Same Traits Can Help and Hinder Us
Your personality is your characteristic way of thinking, feeling, and behaving. Often, the personality traits that cause problems for us also come with some clear advantages.
For example, people who are extremely high in conscientiousness might recognize that they’re exhausted from trying to do everything perfectly. At the same time, their attention to detail has also earned them praise, good grades, and later, professional recognition. Choosing good enough over perfect sounds like a great way to decrease burnout, but what would actually happen if they relaxed their standards or delegated a........
