Fresh fruit only goes so far in an apology. In many Asian households, love and repair weren’t always spoken—they were implied, indirect, and often left for us to interpret.And while those gestures carried care, they often left something unfinished: the need to hear our pain acknowledged out loud. This isn’t what I advise for the next generation of Asian parents.

For example, on a recent ski trip, our 10-year-old son was visibly upset when my wife called him a “fool” when he forgot his gloves in the hotel room. She had reiterated to everyone to make sure we had everything we needed before leaving, but he forgot, so she responded with that “fool” comment.

She could have become defensive or ignored his feelings........

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