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A Lesson From Getting Pantsed

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25.06.2026

Teaching kids to set boundaries empowers them to protect both physical and emotional space.

Many families avoid teaching relational boundaries, leaving kids unprepared for self-advocacy.

Suppressing needs often leads to resentment, passive-aggression, and codependency in adulthood.

During recess on the last week of school, our 10-year-old son got pantsed by a couple of kids. He was rightfully upset and chased them down. Fortunately, he did not resort to violence, but he made it very clear that they were never to touch him again or he would defend himself in the future.

The incident was reported to staff, and the principal intervened and spoke with the boys responsible. Apparently, they had been doing it to several other kids on the playground as well. Some children felt humiliated and were seen crying. Others turned inward and stayed silent. I have always insisted that our son express his feelings, so he never has to keep things bottled up or wonder whether anyone cares about his concerns.

I am proud that our son has learned early in life that he has a right to demand that his physical boundaries be respected. More importantly, he understands that he also has a right to express emotional boundaries. He knows the power of the word no, and he is willing to use it. Watching him stand up for himself made me reflect that I did not learn this right until much later in my adult life.

The Importance of Teaching Relational Boundaries in Families

In therapy, one of the biggest lessons I see missing from many families is the teaching of relational boundaries. Whether because of culture,........

© Psychology Today