My father just celebrated his 97th birthday, and I reflected on his role as a parent throughout my lifetime. I have also been studying the psychology of relationships for more than 50 years (dating back to my research as an undergraduate). I thought I would list some of the important elements of good parenting, as illustrated by my father (and my mom) and supported by research.

Here are those lessons.

The Power of Positive Expectations

The well-researched Pygmalion Effect (and the pioneering work of Robert Rosenthal) clearly shows that holding positive expectations about others actually leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy. In short, if you have faith in someone, expect them to achieve positive outcomes, and express that to them, they will be motivated to fulfill your expectations.

My physician father consistently believed that his children would complete college, but, as he noted, he didn’t see college as just four years. He also expected us (my sister, my brother, and me) to obtain a graduate or professional degree. Consistent with his expectations, we all achieved........

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