There’s a topic that is often a major factor in the decision to start couples therapy, but is often avoided when it comes to discussing the factors in the decision to start couples therapy. This topic is sex. Talking about sex can be embarrassing and awkward. Of course, having sex can be embarrassing and awkward. Our conscious minds might feel these feelings of embarrassment and awkwardness and want to avoid discussing them, while at the same time, our biological urges still have our subconscious minds intensely focused on sex. The start of the work to repair relationships with conflict in the area of sex is to break the ice and make it OK to talk about.

Often this is up to me. I’m the one who asks, “How is your sex life?” I try to get the ball rolling in this area of discussion. I explain that sex is often a big part of being in a relationship, and it’s something we should probably discuss. Learning to be comfortable talking about sex in couples therapy should lead to learning to be comfortable talking about sex outside of couples therapy, which will hopefully lead to a more satisfying and meaningful sex life. The most awkward part of this discussion is making it OK to say words like “blow job” or “vaginal

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