If you are in an unhealthy marriage that has been dysfunctional for years, it may be hard to accept the reality that your marriage and/or your spouse is not going to change. You’ve invested time and energy into this relationship and don’t want to give up now. Maybe you keep thinking that once life settles down, or you get that new job, or the kids are more independent, then things will get better.

The sunk cost fallacy is a concept that refers to staying in a situation because of the time and effort you’ve invested in the past, even when that situation no longer serves you. Often, people remain in unhappy marriages simply because they’ve been together for so long. Many women worry that ending a marriage means the time they invested in it was wasted. But your marriage was not a waste—it served a purpose, even if only for a period of time. Gaining awareness of this fallacy can be empowering. You may come to realize that investing in something that no longer works isn’t worth it. Ultimately, the energy you spent in the past should not dictate decisions about your future.

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