The Fundamentals of Sex

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Half of women have experienced significant pain during intercourse.

Young women are at greatest risk.

Few women mention sexual pain to their partners, so most men remain in the dark about it.

With partner support and medical evaluation, most sexual pain can be relieved.

Vaginal intercourse can be a wonderful way to experience joy, love, and mutual physical and emotional connection. But for around half of sexually active heterosexual women, intercourse includes a nasty downside, pelvic pain.

Widespread sexual mythology holds that, for women, pain during intercourse is normal and natural, something they must live with. No! Except for carefully scripted BDSM play, sex should never hurt. If it does, that’s a problem.

Sexual pain can ruin lovemaking. In one study of women’s sexual pain, more than half (54 percent) reported loss of libido, fewer rolls in the hay, and more problems working up to orgasms. Few women mention sexual pain to their partners, unless it becomes severe—see my previous post. As a result, few men are aware that their lovers might be suffering pain, and few men ask their partners if sex feels uncomfortable or agonizing.

In addition, most women who suffer from sexual pain feel reluctant to mention it to psychotherapists, couples therapists, or doctors. Medical schools largely ignore it. Consequently, few internists or gynecologists raise the issue, or are skilled at diagnosing it. One study showed that it typically takes five doctor visits for women suffering sexual pain to receive diagnoses.

Understand the Risk Factors

Few people know the risk factors for sexual pain. That’s not surprising. It hasn’t been the focus of........

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