As we are a profoundly social species, communicating with one another comes naturally to us. We do it all the time, and we take most of it for granted. Yet, science is only beginning to reveal just how complex and multilayered human interaction really is.

In fact, we often overestimate how well we understand each other.

“The more I study social interaction, the more I marvel that it actually works!” says Leonhard Schilbach, a psychiatrist, neuroscientist, and professor at the Ludwig-Maximilians-University in Germany. Schilbach investigates the behavioral and neural mechanisms of real-time social interaction, both within a single brain and across interacting brains—a field known as second-person neuroscience.

At any point in the communication chain between two brains, things can go wrong, causing suffering. We experience this in our daily lives and see it play out on the world stage. As Khalil Gibran once wrote, “Between what is said and not meant, and what is meant and not said, most of love is lost.” Schilbach encounters echoes of this “lost love” in his psychotherapy practice, where he helps clients revisit and mend fragments of past miscommunication.

Schilbach’s work has changed how he approaches everyday interactions. He has become more cautious and conservative, he says, seeking feedback from others to ensure that communication has truly been successful. He has also come to deeply value small encounters. The brain expects connection, Schilbach explains. And it is wired to reward it. Meaningful connection doesn’t always require long or profound conversations. Our brains also relish brief moments of shared experience: being seen, being responded to, feeling acknowledged. “I pay close attention to these moments in daily life,” Schilbach adds, “because their importance can’t be overstated.”

Here are five insights from the neuroscience of social interaction from Schilbach.

Schilbach........

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