What Changes During Adolescence?

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Nonchalance—choosing detatchment over drama—has become a social media buzz term, especially for teens.

The adolescent brain isn't wired to play it cool.

Owning big feelings doesn't mean you'll get what you want. But it's the only way to learn how to care.

Until recently, the word nonchalance brought to mind the image of a woman walking down a street in Paris, wearing large-framed, elegant sunglasses, unbothered by the bustle of the city. She is classy, cool, and in control.

Now what I see is a teen reacting to emotional blows with studied indifference. Nonchalance has become a social media buzz term, with TikTok creators proclaiming, “I am so unbothered,” choosing peace and detachment over drama, especially when it comes to relationships.

What’s fascinating about this trend (which also affects single adults) is that it flies in the face of much of what we know about adolescence. The teen brain does not make it easy to play it cool. The amygdala, nucleus accumbens, and other brain regions involved in emotional reactivity and reward seeking mature faster than the prefrontal cortex, an area that helps us exercise self-control.

But in an era when any unguarded moment........

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