Self-editing at work is normal, but too much can distance us from what we truly think.

Backstage conversations often reveal risks and concerns that official meetings leave unspoken.

Authenticity involves alignment between our values and behavior, rather than full disclosure.

Psychological safety helps people raise concerns before frustration moves into private conversations.

Recently, I was on Zoom with a colleague for a meeting that was being recorded, as so many of our meetings are these days. The official conversation ended, everyone else left, and the two of us stayed behind to talk for a few more minutes.

You probably know what happened next.

Our meeting voices disappeared, and the conversation became more candid and considerably less appropriate for broad distribution. We said things that belonged in a private exchange between trusted colleagues, including a few comments I would not want repeated, forwarded, or preserved for posterity in the cloud.

Then one of us noticed the small red recording symbol still glowing on the screen.

My body reacted before my mind assembled the facts. My stomach dropped as I frantically began mentally reviewing the previous several minutes. What exactly had I said? Had I used names? Who would receive the recording? Would anyone continue listening after the formal meeting ended? Could we delete it? Could we delete the internet?

The situation was eventually handled, but the panic stayed with me. I felt relieved that our private conversation would remain private while also wondering why the discovery had felt so exposing. The recording had captured a very real version of me. It also revealed the distance between the person I had been during the meeting and the person who appeared once I believed it was over.

Most of us make similar adjustments throughout the day, responding to the audience, the........

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