Famously, Arnold Schwarzenegger chastised himself after winning a major bodybuilding competition. The blazing light of glory quickly faded into shame, and was seldom allowed to shine for long. Staring at himself in the mirror, Schwarzenegger called himself a slob and worthless; he told himself that he should feel embarrassed by his body. Recounting these moments in later years, Schwarzenegger spoke of his self-talk as a strategy, a way to maintain motivation despite the seemingly endless stream of success. While his framing wasn’t technically wrong, since he was engaging in a technique labeled "defensive pessimism" in which expectations are kept low to self-motivate, it overlooked a key fact: Much of this is automatic, habitual, and unconscious. Most of the people who engage in this sort of self-talk take it so seriously that they don’t perceive it as a tool. It can easily ruin lives.

Schwarzenegger was obsessed with greatness, knowing how thin the air was up there. And he sacrificed much of his personal life, and emotional well-being, to attain and sustain it. However, many perfectionists are only semi-obsessed with it, stuck in limbo while bouncing back and forth between what they seem to want and what they believe they should. Limbo is, arguably, the worst state to find oneself in. Although Schwarzenegger engaged in delusional thinking (i.e., defensive pessimism), he was determined. Unable and........

© Psychology Today