How Can I Manage My Anger?

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Emotional reasoning is the process by which we use our emotions to inform us about reality.

To perfectionists, anger feels justified solely by its existence.

While anger may contribute to important social justice initiatives, it can easily destroy relationships.

Like almost any other trait, perfectionism entails some commendable qualities. Perfectionists tend to be diligent, conscientious, tenacious, and consistent. Yet, all of this has a dark side.

It’s become popular in recent years to think of anger, and rage more specifically, as symbolic of chronic and even systemic mistreatment. This is especially true in philosophy circles. Rage is conceived of as a natural response to injustice. So, it’s often justified merely by its existence. The underlying message is that it could not have stemmed from anywhere other than where it appears to have stemmed from. And perfectionists, who see the world in black and white, thus tend to believe their anger is always reasonable.

Yet, like any other emotion, anger is complicated, informed by many experiences as well as the individual’s own ability to regulate their emotions. Anger isn’t by itself an indicator of any specific reality. The cognitive distortion, which in general is a pattern of flawed reasoning, of emotional reasoning implies that we’re using a feeling to form a conclusion about the world.

For example, if I’m feeling anxious, I may automatically believe I’m in danger, just based on my........

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