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Noticing others’ emotions doesn’t mean you’re responsible for managing them.

Your brain may fill gaps in context with your own insecurities, not facts.

Seek clarity through curiosity, not reassurance to relieve your own anxiety.

Why do we immediately assume that someone’s bad mood is about us? Oftentimes, we take a little bit of information or one shift in someone’s behavior and make it about us. We start to replay comments, reread text exchanges, or critically assess what we said and how we said it. It’s exhausting, and most of the time, it’s not warranted.

A new narrative begins to write itself, and suddenly, you are the main culprit. This isn’t ideal, but it makes sense. We are wired to pay attention to details as they pertain to our relationships and interactions. But being aware of how the mood or vibe changes in a room doesn’t mean we need to absorb it all. For a serial fixer, this is often where awareness turns into ownership.

When we take bits of information or observations and leave our brains to their own emotional, urgent devices, we can create unnecessary anxiety. Our brains don’t love uncertainty, so when we don't have all the context or information, we begin to fill in the blanks. And of course, the database we have unlimited access to? It’s all about us. Our own experiences, insecurities, and past interactions.

We’ve all been there, in one form or another. Perhaps it’s a colleague who typically comes into the office and greets you with a warm hello, but one morning barely acknowledges you. Within minutes, you’re replaying your last interactions,........

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