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The first task for new stepparents is to create a positive bond with stepchildren.

Stepparents may think of this as getting stepchildren to like them, to become friends, or to know them better.

Persistence in bonding efforts pays off.

The same strategies to make a new friend may be used to get stepchildren to like a stepparent.

Many new stepparents wonder how they should interact with their new stepchildren. They ask themselves and their partners (and sometimes their stepchildren):

“How involved should I be in child-rearing?”

“How much should I discipline?”

“What should my stepkids call me?”

“Am I a new parent-figure or what?”

These are important questions, and worth thinking about, but they are not the first questions that a stepparent should be asking. Instead, stepparents’ first steps should be to think about how they can create close relationships with their stepchildren.

“How can I get my stepchildren to like me?”

What can I do to make friends with my stepkids?”

“How do I get to know my stepchildren better?”

Based on many studies of stepparents and stepchildren from around the world, the first steps of stepparenting should be to build positive emotional bonds with stepchildren. I think of this task as either getting stepkids to like the stepparent or stepparents doing things to make........

© Psychology Today