What Are Adverse Childhood Experiences?

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Early family rejection can disrupt a child’s sense of safety and attachment.

In the absence of parental comfort and belonging, many look for other sources of support.

Substitute sources of comfort can help repair the effects of early rejection on attachment and safety.

Punch: The Abandoned Baby Macaque

From the moment he was born at Ichikawa City Zoo, Punch, a baby Japanese macaque, was rejected by the one being evolution designed to protect him: his mother. For reasons not fully understood, she refused to nurse or hold him. The tiny infant reached for her, clung to her fur, and desperately sought contact, but his mother showed no signs of bonding. Whether due to stress, inexperience, or instinct, she pushed him away. In the wild, this would have been a death sentence.

Instead, zookeepers intervened. They provided bottle feedings and round-the-clock care to keep him alive, stepping in to take the place of his mother.

These types of things likely happen more often than we know. But, for some reason, this baby monkey captured the hearts of visitors, who followed Punch’s progress. Social media updates showed him gaining strength: We watched him learning to grip with his fingers, and videos showed him exploring his enclosure and learning to climb. But one image in particular captured public attention: Punch curled around a stuffed toy, clinging to it for comfort. It was a heartbreaking image that evoked many emotions, especially for those who have experienced their own parental rejection.

When Family Becomes Unsafe

For living things, attachment is a biological necessity. It helps growing babies (and primates) learn to explore their surroundings safely, and helps them develop a sense of identity in the world.1

But Punch and his primate family are no strangers to learning about attachment. Decades ago, psychologist Harry Harlow conducted groundbreaking (and controversial) studies with infant rhesus macaques. In his experiments, baby monkeys were given two surrogate “mothers”: one made of wire that provided milk, and one covered in soft cloth that provided no food.2 The infants overwhelmingly chose the cloth surrogate. They clung to it for comfort and security, leaving it only briefly to feed from the wire figure when necessary. When frightened, they ran back to their soft cloth mother. The results were clear: In times of stress, they wanted comfort.

Harlow’s research reshaped our understanding of attachment. Safety, comfort, and emotional availability are foundational to development. Food alone is not enough. Survival requires connection and comfort, especially from those who are meant to protect us and care for us. And when we don’t have that, it can feel scary. And understandably so.

Punch’s instinct to cuddle a stuffed toy mirrors what Harlow observed decades earlier. In the absence of maternal contact, he sought something—anything—that approximated safety.

Family rejection, whether through abandonment, emotional neglect, or other forms of rejection, destabilizes a child’s internal sense of safety. When caregivers are unwilling or unable to provide consistent comfort, the world can feel unpredictable and frightening.

Children who experience rejection often internalize it. Rather than concluding, “My caregiver couldn’t show up for me,” they conclude, “There must be something wrong with me.”

From an evolutionary perspective, this makes painful sense. Maintaining attachment to caregivers is essential for survival. If the bond fractures, the child’s nervous system responds with alarm, such as the example of Punch clinging to a stuffed toy.

The Need for Connection and Safety Is Biological

This drive for comfort is biological. To a frightened infant like Punch, left without maternal contact, clinging to a soft stuffed animal is adaptive. In the absence of a regulating caregiver, he reaches for something that approximates warmth and safety.

What Are Adverse Childhood Experiences?

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The behavior reflects the same attachment system that operates in human children: When comfort is uncertain, we grasp for whatever form of connection we can find. Punch showed us something that many of us have seen in ourselves and our clients: a need for support and belonging.

Behrens, K. Y., Jones-Mason, K., & Forslund, T. (2025). John Bowlby’s theory of attachment and separation: revisiting his original visions after 50+ years, what we know today, and where to go from here? Attachment & Human Development, 27(5), 657–661. https://doi.org/10.1080/14616734.2025.2550829

Harlow, H. F. & Zimmermann, R. R. (1958). The development of affective responsiveness in infant monkeys. Proceedings of the American Philosophical Society, 102,501 -509.

"A Lonely Baby Monkey Wins Hearts, and Even a Few Friends" — The New York Times

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