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Cognitive dissonance can make survivors question what they know about abuse.

This doubt can delay recognition and make it harder for victims to get support.

Naming the behavior can be the first step toward recognizing the pattern.

Kathy sat in her car for almost 20 minutes before going inside.

Her partner had screamed at her that morning. He had called her names, told her she was impossible to live with, and threatened to leave her. Later that afternoon, he apologized. He cried. He told her he had been under enormous stress and that he hated himself for the way he had acted. He would change. He would never do it again.

And now Kathy was sitting in the driveway thinking:

He isn't always like this. He really does love me. Maybe I pushed him too far. Maybe I'm making this into something it isn't.

She knew what had happened and remembered vividly how she felt when he had screamed at her. She remembered the full day at work, unable to focus on her project and taking frequent breaks to cry in the bathroom. But sitting in her driveway, the day behind her, the less certain she felt. Her brain was trying desperately to reconcile two things at........

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