Take our Neuroticism Test

Find a therapist near me.

In our society, positive thinking is seen as a sign of strength and character.

"Neurotics" are viewed as chronic, all-encompassing worriers.

Your "responsibly over-adapted" self is a 24-7 lighthouse in the endless storm of uncertainty.

Has anyone ever called you overly anxious, obsessive, or even neurotic? Maybe you’ve been labeled as impatient, controlling, or the perpetual pessimist who ruins everyone’s day. People might view you as high-strung, sensitive, or high-maintenance—the "squeaky wheel" who always needs attention. The list goes on.

For example, people called “neurotic” are often seen as pessimistic, fearful individuals who chronically worry a great deal about the future, their health, and the well-being of others. They question their decisions and past actions to the point of ad nauseam.

People called “obsessives” are seen as individuals who get stuck in repetitive, tunnel-vision thinking about every aspect of their lives. They tend to be rigid and fixation-prone.

Meanwhile, “controlling” types are seen as intense, suffocating, and unbending, with an urgent drive for perfection and getting things done in an expedient manner. Additionally, these individuals can sometimes be characterized as manipulative or possessive in their interpersonal relationships.

While these represent extreme stereotypes, you might still recognize parts of yourself in them—and perhaps feel a sense of shame for having those traits.

As a result, you might feel inferior because you’ve tried to change but have failed to do so. Subsequently, this tragic epiphany makes you conclude that the only way to be loved and accepted is to suppress your true nature and be what others want you to be. Hence, the indignity takes over, and you have to turn off the bright light of your authentic personality. The good news is perhaps you don’t need to turn it off, and maybe you don’t have to be ashamed of it either. I call it your “responsibly over-adapted”........

© Psychology Today