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When Your Adult Child Blames You for Their Struggles

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05.07.2026

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Over the last 35 years as a psychologist, I have coached many parents of struggling adult children and worked with many adult children as well. Based on my experience, parents of struggling adult children often live with a quietly painful question: How much of this is my fault? If your adult child is anxious, depressed, unmotivated, financially dependent, angry, stuck, or in near-constant crisis episodes, it can be hard not to look backward. Maybe your adult child has implied you're the one responsible for their hardships and struggles. Or, maybe there is no implication because they straight-up tell you. They say that your parenting, your marriage, your blind spots, your lack of listening, or your mistakes are the reason they are........

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