What Is Perfectionism?

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Internal and external pressures drive perfectionism

Adolescents are under pressure to be academically, socially and aesthetically perfect

We can help adolescents to make sense of what perfectionism means to them

I speak to many adolescents and young adults who call themselves “perfectionists”. Often, their parents, if they are involved in the referral, want me to get them to change—by which they mean, lower their standards. Or at least lower their standards in some domains, the ones that parents perceive as less important, such as appearance, friendship, dating, Snapchat streaks and TikTok reels. As a psychotherapist, it’s not my job to “fix” behaviour or “correct” thought patterns, but it is my job to try to make sense of it. As something of a perfectionist myself, I don’t see aiming high as problematic and I admire young people with ambition, who strive to be their best selves. What I do see as a problem, however, is the pressure to be perfect. When the pressure is internal, it can be debilitating and counterproductive. When it comes from external influences it often........

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