Understanding Child Development

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Many young children invent imaginary companions (IC) in the early years, also known as imaginary friends.

An IC may be entirely invisible, or embodied in a toy or other object. As many as two-thirds of children report having an IC at some point during childhood.

But is having an IC healthy for children? Some parents worry that having an imaginary friend might stand in the way of building real-life friendships, stunting their social-emotional growth and challenging their reality-orientation.

Research suggests, however, that having an IC is not only a normal childhood experience, but it serves to provide the child with opportunities to practice theory of mind, representing what others are potentially thinking. Imaginary friends can improve a child’s capacity for empathy and understanding others’ perspectives.

Author Peter Carnavas explores imaginary friendship in his chapter book for elementary-aged children, Leo and Ralph, a sweet story of imagination and being loved for who we are.

Heather Rose Artushin (HRA): Share a bit about your background and what inspired you to write Leo and Ralph.

Peter Carnavas (PC): I write and illustrate children’s books, having published over 25 picture books and novels. I aim to write stories with layers of meaning, and books that can be shared as great read-alouds in schools or at home. I have also worked as a primary school teacher and teacher librarian.

I wrote Leo and Ralph to celebrate imagination and those children who float on the fringes of the class, skirting the edges of the playground — kids who feel they don’t quite fit. It’s a story about finding friends who value who we are, and about the positive impact that supportive adults can have on children.

HRA: Your novel explores the world of Leo, a child who has had an imaginary friend named Ralph since kindergarten. Did you have an imaginary friend as a child? What role do you believe imaginary friends play in the process of growing up?

PC: I have never had an imaginary friend. As an author, I have spent a lot of time with pretend characters in my head, but they never flourished into imaginary beings. My daughter had a few when she was younger, so I experienced it from the perspective of a parent.

Imaginary friends play all sorts of roles for children as they grow up, but I think a clear purpose is to provide comfort and company. It doesn’t have to come from a negative place, and a lot of the time, it’s probably not something to worry about. It’s often just part of the pretend play phases that many children experience. Of course, some hang on a bit longer than others.

HRA: Leo struggles to make friends with his peers, and prefers to spend time with Ralph. How do you think kids can benefit from imaginary friendships? What skills might they develop that could transfer to the real world?

PC: When spending time with an imaginary friend, children may model the kinds of friendships and behaviors they want to experience. It may be a form of practice, or an echo of experiences they’ve had. In this sense, imaginary friendships may serve as role play in preparation for real-life interactions.

Understanding Child Development

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HRA: When it’s time to let Ralph go, Leo has a difficult time moving on from his imaginary friend. Might imaginary friends be harmful to some children’s development? When is it time for parents to encourage their child to let imaginary friends go, and how do you think they can best facilitate that process without causing harm?

PC: These are big questions that would vary with each child. I’d like to think that imaginary friends are unlikely to cause harm but might simply delay a child’s development in some way, particularly around socializing. Each child and situation is different, I believe, but the most important thing to do is support the child, ensure they know that, as a parent, you’re on their side. That’s what I tried to convey with the Leo’s parents and teachers in the story.

HRA: What do you hope readers take away from spending time with Leo and Ralph?

PC: I just hope readers enjoy the story. It has funny moments, tender moments, and big feelings, too. More than anything, I hope readers fall in love with Ralph, the furry little friend at the heart of the story.

Armah, A., & Landers-Potts, M. (2021). A Review of Imaginary Companions and Their Implications for Development. Imagination, Cognition and Personality, 41(1), 027623662199932. https://doi.org/10.1177/0276236621999324

Davis, P. E., Meins, E., & Fernyhough, C. (2014). Children with Imaginary Companions Focus on Mental Characteristics When Describing Their Real-Life Friends. Infant and Child Development, 23(6), 622–633. https://doi.org/10.1002/icd.1869

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