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Recovering from betrayal can be challenging.

Betrayal represents and injury to the brain and the psyche.

Effective healing rests upon addressing both psychological and biological injuries.

Sociobiologists tell us that human beings are hard-wired to live in groups, usually small groups of 10 to 12 people. For these groups to function effectively and be sustained over years, if not generations, there must be some degree of mutual attraction, trust amongst members, and some basic affiliative drive for interpersonal attachment. Something this important to the success of a species must therefore have a biological basis that is present at birth and that may then be shaped by experience.

In 1977, the seminal text Stress, Health, and the Social Environment: A Sociobiologic Approach to Medicine (Henry & Stephens, 1977) first described the physiological circuitry of just such a system. They called it “the cement of society” and argued it was as powerful a predictor of the success of the species as was the development of the prefrontal cortex (the basis for executive functions, rational thought, and raw intelligence). Imagine the implications of physiological injury to that affiliative drive. It is reasonable to believe the condition of interpersonal betrayal represents an injury not just to the psyche but also to the brain itself, causing disruption to intrapersonal and interpersonal well-being. Thus, there are two injuries, not just one. Healing from betrayal can be challenging, and this may be why. A common reason both self-help and professional therapies fail is that they fail to address both injuries. Here is a guide to healing both.

Betrayal is the violation of trust—an........

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