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Being treated as if you don't exist can wound more deeply than outright rejection.

Research on ostracism shows that being ignored activates brain regions linked to physical pain.

Self-erasure can begin as a survival skill and harden into a trap.

Theresa attended a town hall at work to hear the new VP and department head share his strategic vision for the coming year. When he put up the organizational chart, she noticed something was missing: her name. In fact, her entire team had been left off.

When it came time for Q&A, Theresa stood up and asked whether she should read anything into that omission about the organization's future strategic focus.

The VP simply said that her team was no longer lucrative.

His answer shocked Theresa, not for its brutal honesty, but because it dismissed everything her team had achieved over the years.

“It felt like the VP invited us to dinner and didn’t set a place for us at the table.”

What Theresa experienced is called erasure—the quieter cousin of rejection, and sometimes the more painful of the two.

Why erasure hurts more than rejection

Rejection tells you that you weren’t chosen. Erasure makes you wonder whether anyone ever saw you. Rejection at least confirms you exist. Being erased tells you your reality........

© Psychology Today