We often assume that wanting to change is enough. You gather the tools, remove the obstacles, make a plan—and yet, somehow, nothing shifts. You stay stuck. But why? You might be saying to yourself:
“I want to exercise more, so why do I keep skipping the gym?” or “I want a relationship, so why am I not taking the next step?” or “I want to be on time for work, so why am I always late?

Even when the desire for change is real, we often hit invisible walls. That’s because change isn’t just about action, it’s about facing the emotional barriers that keep us stuck.

1. The Goal You've Chosen Is Not Meaningful

If your goal is not connected to your values, you will falter. It will be hard to commit, stay committed, and feel like the effort is worthwhile, even when things get tough. And life is far too short to chase goals that don’t truly matter - goals you feel you "should" want or that someone else wants for you. To move forward, choose a goal that clearly reflects your values. And if it's not valuable, why bother? When your goals are firmly rooted in your values, you open up a natural wellspring of motivation.

2. It's Hard to Come to Terms With Wanting Change

Wanting change creates tension—it reveals the gap between the life you’re living and the one you want, between your actions and your values. Maybe you drink excessively but deeply value health. That gap can feel painful, but it also holds valuable insight. Many people try to escape these uncomfortable emotions, only to feel more lost and stuck. But by accepting them, we can see them for what they are:........

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