The Challenges of Divorce

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Focus on facts and expenses, not past conflicts.

Follow court orders and document financial discussions in writing.

Use mediation when unable to agree on financial decisions.

Keep children out of disagreements over finances.

One of the most common causes of tension between divorced or separated parents is, not to many people’s surprise, money. The arguments often center on one spouse saying they don’t have enough, the other saying they’re paying too much, and disagreements about what the money they do have should be spent on and by whom, the latter being a particularly hot topic between parents.

Such hostility doesn’t live in a vacuum and can reverberate throughout entire families, negatively impacting the relationship between the co-parents, their relationships with their children, and potentially their relationships with extended family. Moreover, what often accompanies frequent arguing is emotional stress that manifests physically.

The worst part? Arguments over financial decisions don’t usually lead to resolution but instead to stalemates that could require judicial intervention, which cost more money — money that could have been spent on whatever the parents were fighting about in the first place. If this dynamic sounds familiar to you and you want to stop the unproductive, destructive conversations, here are my suggestions, based on my years as a family law attorney and guardian ad........

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