I chose this topic because the word kept coming up in my life, and I wondered if it is there in yours too, obvious or hidden. I looked the word up, of course. To surrender means to yield power, control, or possession of something, typically under pressure or demand. How has it come up for me? I can admit that I generally do not like to surrender, to give up control of my life. But that is coming up more and more for me, which is helping me to see when to keep fighting and when surrendering is smarter, more graceful, and sometimes the best way to get what you really want.

When Things Just Want to Stick

Let’s begin with frying pans. I always use nonstick frying pans but pay attention to the problems with their coating. This time I tried one that has a ceramic surface, given its superb reviews. I expect food in nonstick pans to start to stick when their finish starts to go, usually in a year or two. This one started to stick after three months. I wrote a complaint to the company but got no answer. So, for some weird reason, I gave that one away and bought another of the same kind. This time I was going to treat it really well.

Same story: After about three months, it started to stick when I was frying eggs or tofu, the very things for which I want a nonstick pan. I had to ask myself, could I still use it, but more carefully? I tried using a little more oil, keeping the heat lower, and keeping the contents moving, sliding around. This is working. I feel like I kind of surrendered to the pan’s needs, and it is giving back what I want.

When Parts of Me Want to Get Old

I am realizing that aging is also about trying to figure out when to fight and when to surrender. The........

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