I was always a We. Born into a Chinese family, I was a We from the start. First, it was my family and I, and later, when I had kids, it was them and me. I thought of myself as We so much that when meetings started with announcing one’s pronouns, I was always tempted to say we, our, ours, referring to myself. My days were dominated by We. We could not go out because one of us was sick. We had to turn right back from a trip to the bookstore because the school called. We made playdates, took road trips, and once feared for our lives when gale-force winds hit while we were sleeping in a treehouse in Hawaii.

I’m a single parent of twin boys, and often people assume that the hardest thing about being a single parent is emotional. You have no one there; you must be lonely. Well, my boys were always sweet to me, even as teenagers; that was not the problem. The hardest thing is being a We all the time, having to manage not just one life but our collective life,........

© Psychology Today