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Confidence comes from a sense of safety.

Narcissism comes from a sense of threat.

Both phenotypes can appear attractive.

It's important to improve your ability to distinguish between the two.

Most of us are very poor at distinguishing narcissism from confidence. Yet having the skill is integral to our thriving.

Confidence presents with self-awareness, empathy, kindness, sociality, and security in one’s abilities, which arises through the physiology of experiencing a safe environment. Conversely, narcissism presents with a lack of self-awareness, empathy, kindness, and sociality, and with profound insecurities and an inflated sense of self that arises through the physiology of experiencing an unsafe environment. Confident people uplift others to feel their own emotional warmth and joy, while narcissists diminish others to enhance their own sense of dominance and pleasure.

From an evolutionary perspective, perceived threat demands that at times we have a strong self-focus as a mechanism for survival. An environment of safety allows for the dissipation of self-focus and amplification of other-focus; it is a necessity for the thriving of the tribe and the species.

Threat can bring out a phenotype of approach, aggression, assault, and antisocial behavior that is well preserved and valued within our DNA, as it serves us and our tribe well when we are under attack. But when the........

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