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It's important to understand that not all painful experiences are traumatic.

The Ancient Greek root of the word "trauma" is "wound."

Children are more vulnerable to these deep, life-shaping wounds than adults.

Childhood trauma can persist into adulthood but can also be healed, in therapy.

This is a post about trauma, and especially the impact of traumatic stress on young, developing minds, brains and bodies. But we first need to explore what is meant by this over-used, often misunderstood word. We live in an age in which far too many everyday human experiences are pathologised. A quick glance at the social media platform of your choice will show you that people often use terms like "trauma," without really understanding what they mean.

As a psychotherapist specialising in complex trauma, I have spent a great deal of time thinking about this and exploring different definitions for this important term. I think it’s most helpful to trace the word trauma back to its Ancient Greek origins, when it was used to mean "wound."1 This originally described a physical wound, such as a broken leg or gashed palm, but was later applied by pioneering neurologists, such as Hermann Oppenheim and Jean-Martin Charcot, to psychological wounds as well.

I believe we should understand psychological trauma as something that causes a deep wound. Adverse life events such as a divorce or bankruptcy may be extremely painful, but if we are able to recover and move on with our lives, they are not traumatic. This is why millions of social-media posts, however well meaning, are describing experiences as traumatic which are, in fact, painful but normal bumps on the long road of a human life.

We can see this definition of trauma as a psychological wound in the two main trauma diagnoses found in the psychiatric "bibles": the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th ed. (DSM-5)2 and International Classification of Diseases, Eleventh Revision (ICD-11).3 The DSM-5 includes a diagnostic category of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and the ICD-11 adds another concept, complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD).

These are very useful diagnoses, which have helped millions of people understand the debilitating symptoms they experience after a single-incident trauma like a car crash, or complex trauma such as physical abuse throughout childhood. Both scenarios clearly have the potential to cause deep, painful, long-lasting wounds.

But, as I argue in my new book, Heal Your Trauma: How to Overcome a Painful Childhood to Become Happy and Whole Again,4 millions of people across the globe experience childhood trauma that would not fit into these neat categories. That’s because children are more susceptible to traumatic experiences than they would be as adults.5 Although children can be incredibly resilient, especially if they are lucky enough to have a loving, supportive family to help them through painful experiences, a child’s exquisitely sensitive, developing mind, brain, nervous system, and body register overwhelmingly stressful events in a markedly different way than an adult.

For example, if you experience workplace bullying, it might be highly unpleasant or even deeply hurtful, but as an adult you can report the bully to your boss, union or HR department. You can see a therapist for help in becoming more assertive and standing up for yourself. You can speak to your partner, friends, or family members about how to deal with bullies, drawing on their wisdom and experience. You could read self-help books, listen to podcasts, and draw on the intelligence and learned experience of your formidable, mature adult brain to think of solutions to your problem.

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If you were an eight-year-old girl, being bullied every day by two classmates, who used to be your friends before inexplicably and cruelly turning on you, it would be a whole other story. You would hope the school might help, but many schools are woefully inadequate at dealing with bullying. You might be scared to tell your parents, fearing that would just make it worse.

You would be physically small, so unable to fight back against your tormentors. And, crucially, your prefrontal cortex – the brain region responsible for rational thought, and regulating more emotional parts of the brain, among many other things – would still be under-developed, so it would be hard to think your way out of the problem or self-soothe when you felt anxious or stressed.

That is why, for some children, especially those with a more sensitive temperament, this kind of bullying might cause a deep wound – a trauma – in their poor, bewildered mind-body system. And this could cause a host of problems in adolescence and adulthood, like chronic anxiety or depression, low self-esteem, eating disorders or substance abuse. Understanding the difference in a child’s and adult’s ability to metabolise stressful experiences is key to accepting that a wide range of experiences can be traumatic for kids, from bullying to harsh parental criticism.

Experiences like these are at the root of many psychological problems seen in adults (unless, of course, we experience trauma or other adverse experiences in adulthood). As someone whose life’s purpose is helping people heal the wounds of childhood trauma, it’s my sincere wish that we, as clinicians, broaden our understanding of what can be traumatic, especially for kids. And I hope this helps you understand that you may well have experienced childhood trauma, even if it didn’t fit into the neat diagnostic categories of the DSM or ICD.

As the eminent psychologist Dr. Paul Gilbert teaches us, being traumatised in childhood is not your fault.6 No-one chooses to have painful experiences as a child, so it cannot be your fault. But he also says it is our responsibility, as adults, to do everything in our power to heal the wounds of childhood. This is a much more positive and hopeful idea – and I hope it helps you reframe events over which you had no power but can now recover from with the help of a skilled, compassionate, trauma-informed therapist. I wish you strength on that journey.

To find a therapist, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.

1. Merriam-Webster. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/trauma

2. American Psychiatric Association (2013). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental

Disorders (5th ed.) (DSM-5). Washington, DC: APA.

3. World Health Organization (2019/2021). International Classification of Diseases, Eleventh Revision (ICD-11).

4. Roberts, D. (2026). Heal Your Trauma: How to Overcome a Painful Childhood to Become Happy and Whole Again. New York: Quarto Books.

5. Cruz, D., Lichten, M., Berg, K., & George, P. (2022). Developmental Trauma: Conceptual Framework, Associated Risks and Comorbidities, and Evaluation and Treatment. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 13, 800687. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2022.800687.

6. Gilbert, P. (2010). The Compassionate Mind. London: Constable & Robinson.

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