The Importance of Forgiveness

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An effective apology includes acknowledgment for harm done, with no excuses and no demands.

When parents put their healing journey into heartfelt words, it can help estranged children hear them.

After years of estrangement, parents may still need to wait until their child is ready to re-engage.

This is the second post in this series. Click here for the previous post.

Gray divorce refers to couples aged 50 and older ending their marriage. Currently, almost 40 percent of U.S. adults divorcing are 50 or older. Many have minor and adult children.

Attentively eyeing Jerrod, 55, through my office suite door, Friede, my Labrador therapy dog, greeted him with her usual enthusiasm, welcoming him into the waiting area. Reaching down to scratch her head, he began. "Hi, Friede! I'm so glad to see you today. How are you?" She immediately rolled onto her back, inviting tummy scratches. Softly, chuckling, he obliged the tummy scratches. "I already feel much calmer, Friede. Thank you for your continuing support."

We exchanged knowing glances as Friede trotted into my office with him close behind. He invited her to join him on the loveseat as she snuggled next to him. He pulled her closer. "You are the best therapy dog in the world! You know that, right?"

The three of us settled into our seats. I sat silent, allowing him the time he needed to be ready to begin. He looked at me. "I'm eager and nervous to review with you what I wrote. I've tried to stay in the present, as you always tell me, but my mind keeps slipping into imagining Madeline with tears rolling down her cheeks, as her therapist reads my apology letter to her." His words caught in his throat. Tears were softly dropping into his lap. Friede turned her head upward and looked at him. "I'm OK, Friede.........

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