Confidence ebbs and flows. But you can build a mental skills toolbox to stay committed even when doubts arise.

Thoughts and feelings are not in control—they don't hit golf balls or make high-stakes decisions. You do.

Your goal isn't to feel calm or feel nothing. It's to be competent, and to feel alive, doing what you love.

You've prepared diligently for a public speaking event, senior leadership meeting, or conference tournament. Yet as game day approaches, the doubts and nerves creep in.

You want to feel confident, excited, and free, but all you can feel is discomfort. You can hardly tolerate the uncertainty of a future outcome that can’t be known. Unpleasant thoughts pop up: What if I fall on my face?  What if I embarrass myself in front of the most important people in my life? Often, these questions reflect a deeper fear: What if I lose love?"

Performance moments have a way of revealing our humanness: our basic needs to be competent or skilled, to give and receive love, and to exercise agency and choice. High stakes performance can be thrilling—and that might be part of why you’re drawn to it.

But part of the buzz usually involves feelings and thoughts that are hard to feel. The adrenaline rushes. Errors are part of the game. It isn’t calm; it’s turbulent. 

The more you can learn to ride and even embrace that turbulence—and let go of clinging to feelings of confidence and calm as prerequisites for best performance—the more consistency you will unlock. Let’s dive into five strategies you can lean on when you don’t feel confident as you approach a big........

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