When people advise you to network more for your career, do you then go to one of those so-called "networking" events? You know the ones that are essentially glorified happy hours, featuring people roaming around a room carrying drinks, looking to somehow interject themselves into a conversation with someone who "matters." And, of course, when you do finally find someone willing to talk to you, you can barely hear what small talk is coming out of his or her mouth above the din of all the other small talk filling the room.

Such events may work for you if you already know people there, have someone to introduce you to others, immediately fit in with the crowd, happen to be loud yourself, or like to drink. Otherwise, it can feel like a lot of work trying to network in such a way without much net gain. It's easy to leave such events discouraged and not knowing how else to build the network of people who can end up helping you professionally and even personally.

Well, I learned over the years that if you are interested in building any network, it may be better to start with your interests—meaning doing activities that you would actually be interested in doing regardless of whom you want to meet.

This means starting with the means and not the ends.........

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