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Dependence can protect connection and safety, not simply reflect weakness or pathology.

Growth does not eliminating dependence altogether.

In some families and cultures, dependence is not simply tolerated—it is relationally meaningful.

It can signal care, closeness and responsibility toward one another.

But in therapy, dependence is often quickly interpreted as something to outgrow.

Sometimes, parents may not even realise that their way of loving—doing everything, protecting, anticipating needs—can also reinforce dependency in their adult children.

Yet dependence is not always only about incapacity.

Sometimes, it is also a way to stay connected, and more importantly, a way to protect against the fear of abandonment.

Mary came to therapy in her early 30s after being diagnosed with Dependent Personality Disorder by a previous therapist. She disagreed with the diagnosis.

“It’s just unfair,” she said. “And it didn’t help.”

In many ways, Mary was functioning. She could manage daily life and make daily decisions.

But the idea that her parents might one day die felt unbearable.

Not something........

© Psychology Today