Fred and his wife, Rachel, arrived at the Giggling Squirrel Wilderness Resort in Northern Ontario.

Fred promptly rented a 22-foot pontoon boat: a floating patio with a motor that sounded like a blender full of gravel. He and Rachel walked down to the dock.

That’s when they saw it.

Resting on the deck near the bow of the boat — perfectly centred like a fuzzy, 400-pound hood ornament — was an adult black bear. It wasn’t growling. It wasn’t raiding the well-stocked snack locker. It was sitting on its haunches, staring out across the water with the serene focus of a monk contemplating the void.

“Hey!” Fred barked, tapping his boat key against the railing. “That’s our boat! I have the reservation for 2 p.m.”

The bear didn’t move. A slight breeze ruffled its fur.

Fred checked his watch.

“Look, buddy, I paid for three hours and the clock is ticking.”

“What........

© Peterborough Examiner