THE wise teacher looks at her young student, “And what did you do to provoke him to say that?” No, I’m not defending the boy or girl who said an ugly word, but very often we forget the provocation as we punish an offender who reacted. But the situation doesn’t rest there. In quarrels between a husband and wife, the husband or wife next day remembers the words thrown at him or her, but forget what got the other to say them.

It’s time we started putting angry words back in context. Many, many years ago, I remember a casual worker in my business, who was trying to form a union in my company by sending me a........

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