Grief is a painful and uncontrollable process that eventually sneaks up on everyone. If you lose a spouse, your entire world is upended. Your traditions and responsibilities change, and you can be thrown into a state of constant struggle.

“The time after something like that … is just so foggy and thick and heavy. And you’re just in this combination between shock and total survival mode, especially with young kids,” said Tiffany Rampey, who was 37 when she lost her 39-year-old husband, Mike.

At the time of his death, her children were just five and seven. Almost three years later, she captures her family’s moments of grief, as well as their travels around the world, on her @rebuilding.joy Instagram account.

According to people who've lost a spouse, the hardest days can come all throughout the year — not just immediately before or after the funeral.

Your day-to-day living is forever altered, added Carolyn Williams. Her husband, John, died nearly three years ago as well, leaving behind children who were then 24, 26 and 38. Williams and her friend Dawn Allen run the podcast We Grieve Differently, which aims to support people after a loss.

The time before the funeral is the easy part, Williams said, as you’re busy planning and spending time with family. “It’s when the funeral’s over, and everybody’s gone home and the calls have stopped ... [that] you realise, ‘Damn, this shit is real,’” Williams added.

HuffPost spoke with readers to understand what grief feels like for those who’ve lost a spouse, along with the most difficult times after the death of a partner.

The evenings are hard

“The loneliest times for me were driving home from work and knowing he wasn’t going to be there,” said Anna Fadel. Her 56-year-old husband, Ed, died four years ago, when their daughters were all college-age.

Rampey added that she would experience loneliness in the evenings too, after putting her young kids to bed.

“I was used to then........

© HuffPost