No matter the phrase, implying that shyness is a bad thing can be harmful for a quiet kid to hear.

Uncomfortable situations are scary for everyone, but they’re especially scary for children, who don’t have much control over the situations they’re put in.

Parents or caretakers who want their kid to act a certain way in social situations often make these these situations even worse. This is particularly challenging for introverted kids, who are known to need alone time more than their extroverted counterparts.

Not all introverts are quiet, and not all extroverts are gregarious, therapists say, which can make it tough to tell just where your child falls. But there are a few signs you can look out for.

“The classic extroversion-introversion distinction is that an introvert would be filled up by spending time alone recharging, rather than with people,” said Kate Roberts, a therapist at Self Space Therapy in Washington.

Introverted children may become very tired and drained after social events, may opt to spend time alone or with one close friend instead of a group, probably don’t like being the centre of attention and may take more time to warm up to people, said therapist Rachel Wolff, the owner of Flow Wellness in Philadelphia.

While society doesn’t usually celebrate introversion, it’s important that parents and caretakers do their best to celebrate it and not try to change it.

Therapists told HuffPost there are damaging phrases you really shouldn’t say to introverted children for many reasons. Here’s what to know:

1. ‘Speak up more’ and ‘be more friendly’

Any introvert, whether young or old, has probably heard the phrase “speak up more” or “be friendly,” but these are two damaging comments, Wolff said.

“This can make a child think that whatever they’re doing is wrong and it can suggest that your child should ignore their own comfort level to make someone else more comfortable” whether that’s their parent or in certain social situations, Wolff said.

In some cases, this is a direct route to people-pleasing, Wolff noted.

2. ‘You’re being quiet, that’s so rude’

“Please don’t tell your child that they’re being rude by being quiet,” Wolff said. “Again, this suggests your child is doing harm to others by listening to their own........

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