The new Scottish Nationalist MP Lara Bird took the oath of allegiance in the House of Commons this week but she didn’t seem very happy about it did she boys and girls? Did you notice that her lips were pursed and her eyes were rolling and her fingers were crossed? Do you know what crossing your fingers means boys and girls? It means promises don’t really count.

Of course, the new member for Arbroath and Broughty Ferry has every right to express her displeasure at having to declare an oath of allegiance to the King if she wants to – plenty of MPs have done it before her. Her stompy, sniffy, sulky, sullen performance in the Commons will also endear her to lots of people in the SNP. Indeed, I can see now why they chose her; she is their perfect representative.

But you may have seen the fuss there was about something else that happened when Ms Bird took the oath: her accent. On the face of it, it was just a normal Scottish accent, albeit hard to pin down geographically. Then some video emerged of her talking elsewhere – about Israel, what else – with a somewhat posh English voice. Some people thought it proved she was faking her accent in the Commons to sound more Scottish; Ms Bird said it was because she grew up in Angus but lived in London for a time and picked up an English twang. “That comes out a wee bit stronger when I’m in England,” she said, “and the Scottish accent comes up a wee bit stronger when I’m back home.”

But something about this doesn’t make sense. Accents and dialects do shift a bit depending on where you are and who you’re talking to; it’s called........

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