It’s highly unlikely that Count Binface would ever consider standing for Holyrood. The inter-galactic politician is one of the two main creatures set to fight it out in the forthcoming Clacton by-election. The other one is Nigel Farage.

In England, the space count maintains a noble tradition of unconventional electoral candidates. Sadly, none has ever won a constituency vote. This democratic idiosyncrasy has failed to catch on in Scotland. We’ve already got a cast of bizarre characters, and they all belong to the mainstream. Not only do they get elected, they often become government ministers.

All of Scotland’s big political parties routinely field candidates that make Count Binface and his policies seem practical.

It was revealed last month that most of Holyrood’s MSPs don’t appear to know what sex category they belong to. They also appear to be unsure which toilets to use. In Scotland’s clown parliament, Count Binface would risk becoming one of the few grown-ups in the chamber.

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The Scottish Greens especially seem to inhabit a sphere much more transcendental than the cosmos in which the Count’s little-known planet Sigma 9 can be found.

In May’s Scottish elections, the Greens fielded Kate Nevens, a candidate who wants to ban prisons. Ms Nevens was duly elected to represent Edinburgh and Lothians. At the same election they fielded an affluent young foreign national who is passing........

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