The new second shift is burning out both parents

Nobody’s workload has gotten lighter. It’s just doubled. Moms may still carry the mental load, but dads are tired, too.

[Photo: Getty Images]

The other night, I heard cabinets opening in the kitchen and the shuffling of bags and containers. My husband was looking for snacks with our 9-year-old. After, he got him ready for bed, read him a book, and ordered us dinner. Then he sat down at his laptop and worked until 9 p.m. As I unloaded the dishwasher, I realized two things. First: My husband was killing it. Second: The second shift isn’t women’s work anymore. It’s everyone’s burnout.

The second shift, rewritten

In 1989, sociologist Arlie Russell Hochschild introduced “the second shift” to describe what happened when women got home from their paid job to an unpaid one: making dinner, folding laundry, shuttling kids to sports. Thirty-plus years ago, that division was clear. Today, it’s more like … murky. Couples expect both parents to be career-driven and active parents These days, most dual-income households assume both partners will be ambitious at work and hands-on at home. In fact, fathers are spending more time on childcare than ever before. According to Pew Research, they’ve doubled their involvement since the 1960s. Parenting is the most gender-equal it’s ever been. The problem is, most couples I talk to feel fried. Nobody’s workload has gotten lighter. It’s just doubled. Moms may still do the mental load, but dads are tired, too.

The mental load. It’s where the second shift truly........

© Fast Company