The invisible labor of likability at work

And how to rid yourself of the burden.

[Photo: pressfoto/Magnific]

We’ve all been there. You email one coworker: “I need this by Thursday.” You email another: “Hi! Just checking back in. Would you be able to have this ready for me by Thursday? Totally understand if that doesn’t work. No rush, except that, sadly, there is a rush. Thank you so much.”

And then you read the second email three more times to ensure that you don’t sound impatient, demanding, passive-aggressive, or aggressive-aggressive. All that mental work is the invisible labor of likability. It’s the time you spend trying to make requests less direct or criticism easier to swallow.

Women have historically been expected to manage the feelings of others at work. But they’re not the only ones. Junior employees. People of........

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