Following my recent moan about local customer service, here’s something for balance.

There’s an unspoken thrill in contacting Microsoft Support. It’s like entering a Kafkaesque labyrinth where your simple query will meet a litany of cheerful platitudes, repeated requests for the same information over and over again – name and email being the favourite, though not exclusive, candidate – still more irrelevant questions and an enthusiastic refusal to solve your problem in under an hour. My latest adventure began with Maria, a customer service representative who may or may not have been replaced by an overly polite chatbot halfway through our exchange.

Maria kicks things off with a flourish: “Welcome to Microsoft Support, my name is Maria. May I know also your name?” A promising start. My name is Barney, and I’m here to correct a billing issue involving tax. However, before we get to the heart of the matter, Maria wants my mobile number. Not to worry– this is only “in case........

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