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Donald forced to drain the swamp he oversaw

22 0
24.06.2026

It was going to be the best blue you've ever seen. Tremendous American flag blue. Bluer than any blue. Something to make Washington so proud. And, you know, I brought people in from Florida who do my pools at a fraction of the cost. They did a fantastic job on the Reflecting Pool.

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But the vandals got to it. Sick people. Horrible people. Democrats probably. Maybe Joe Biden or Barack Hussein Obama. Who knows? Tipped chemicals into the water, slashed the paint to make it peel. Planted algae too. Put dead birds in there. If we catch them, they'll go to jail. Ten years at least. It would be the death penalty if the radical left Supreme Court would let me sign such an executive order.

Especially those creeps who wrote 8647 in giant numbers with weed killer on the lawn next to the pool. Everyone knows that's illegal - just ask that traitor James Comey, who we've indicted for spelling that out in seashells on a beach. You can't 86 me. I still have 947 sleeps until my term ends - not that anyone's counting and not that I'll sleep through them all with all the posts I have to make on Truth Social.

People are saying so many nasty things about the great things I've done for the Reflecting Pool. That the algae growing on it looks like the swamp I promised to drain. That it doesn't reflect the Lincoln Memorial, which by the way, I'm planning to rename as the Trump Lincoln Memorial. They're saying it reflects on my presidency. These terrible people are also against my plans to rename Dulles International Airport and Penn Station in New York. After me. Donald J. Trump International Airport has such a great ring to it, don't you think?.

So ungrateful after all I've done. Never get credit for anything. Stopped eight wars but no one talks about that. All they talk about is the pool. But, you know, I'm used to it. Even my own niece Mary says horrible things about me. That I destroy everything I touch. Obviously, she's low IQ like all my critics.

Look at my tremendous deal with Iran. No other president was able to bring peace to the Middle East like I did. I've opened the Strait of Hormuz, which we can now call the Strait of Trump. Did it without those NATO freeloaders. Avoided world depression. Oil has never been cheaper. The stock market is up, way up. The numbers are terrific. We're lifting sanctions on Iran, giving them billions to rebuild. Unfrozen their assets. We'll go in and get the nuclear dust when they're ready. Ballistic missiles? If everyone else........

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