Slow down the school syllabus, it’s producing five-year-old nihilists

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Some people say the public education system doesn’t teach children quickly enough, but I believe it teaches them too fast. Take my oldest grandson, Pip. He started school at the beginning of the year and already he’s worldly-wise.

“Hello Bluey,” I said, greeting the stuffed toy which was sitting on the dashboard of my car. My grandson, whom I’d just strapped into his seat, shot me a pitying look. “She’s not real, you know.”

He’s only been in formal schooling for three months, and already it’s like living with Friedrich Nietzsche. What’s next? “God is dead, and I have my doubts about The Wiggles.”

I suppose I have the same lack of faith when it comes to The Wiggles. Do they really all live in the same house and sleep in those skivvies? Do they then cook breakfast while still wearing the same skivvies? Yuck. Launder your clothes, people.

Despite this point of agreement, I wish Pip’s age of innocence could last longer. Six months ago, he lived in an enchanted world. We would serve “tea” (water), poured from a “teapot” (tiny plastic toy), and offer it to our “friends” (a stuffed bear with wonky ears, and a Tigger who has seen better days). We’d blow on the “hot” tea to........

© Brisbane Times