When you’re in pain, the last thing they say to do is consult your phone. I did it anyway

August 16, 2026 — 5:00am

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About a month ago, I went to bed perfectly comfortable and woke up in pain. The top of my left arm was inexplicably sore, as though I’d been punched overnight by a demon. “Am I having a heart attack?” I asked my phone.

“This does not sound like a heart attack,” answered AI, so I took some paracetamol and chalked it up to my sleeping position. At my age, even lying down can be fraught.

When the pain worsened, and my left hand kept falling asleep, I became concerned that something was significantly wrong. “It’s unlikely to be a tumour,” said AI, helpfully. Oh my god, I thought. It’s probably a tumour!

I saw my GP, who suspected a pinched nerve in my neck and sent me for an MRI. I felt apprehensive as I climbed onto the table. I do not enjoy the MRI experience. While I do, as a rule, welcome the chance for a lie down, I cannot relax when the lie down is on a cold, hard table inside a narrow metal tube, with a series of clanging noises assaulting my senses. And I am claustrophobic at the best of times.

On this day, with my very sore arm, I had to work hard to control my panic. I settled down and told myself that the test would be over soon, as the machine whirred into action with a thump.

“Dang,” it said. “Dang, dang, dang, dang.”........

© Brisbane Times