Pharaoh Network News Interviews Moses (Satire)

It turns out that, when it comes to the media, Jews, and Israel, very little has changed in 1,400 years.

Robin M. Itzler | April 1, 2026

Cecille B. DeMille’s outstanding 1956 award-winning epic The Ten Commandments starred Charlton Heston, Yul Brynner, Anne Baxter, and Edward G. Robinson, among many acclaimed stars. It’s nearly four hours long, ending when Moses announced that after 40 years, he wouldn’t get to the Promised Land with the Israelites and walked off into the desert. Roll credits.

Now some exciting news! Israeli archeologists recently discovered a scroll of an interview Moses gave to PNN (Pharaoh Network News) in that 40th year!

Ahmed Cooper: Let me start by asking why Jews were so ungrateful to the Pharaoh who gave them free housing, free food, and jobs? Don’t you think the Israelites should have shown some appreciation?

Moses: We “appreciated” the Egyptians letting us build Pithom and Rameses under their torturous whip. We “appreciated” the Egyptians controlling our population by murdering our males at birth. We “appreciated” the Egyptians having complete control over our lives.

Cooper: So, you did appreciate being slaves!

Moses: Are you meshugener? It was an awful 400 years for the Jewish people!

Cooper: Okay, let’s talk about those plagues. First, Jews showed a lack of concern about the environment by letting God turn the Nile River and all the water to blood.

Moses: If the Pharaoh had let us go, that wouldn’t have........

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