How to mangle names and get rich

Corporations are bidding for naming rights on Mumbai’s Metro stations and prefixing their names to them. I say, why stop there?

20.08.2025 10

C Y Gopinath

There’s something fishy about fish

The next time you eat tuna, remind yourself that 45 dolphins died for every eight bluefin tunas that made it to the table. That’s just the tip of...

12.08.2025 10

C Y Gopinath

The pig and the pauper

For every five Indians who don’t know when to stop eating, there are two who go to bed hungry. And then there’s the food we throw away

05.08.2025 10

C Y Gopinath

1, 2, 3, what are we fighting for?

Everyone is fighting over land they claim they own, whether it’s Ukraine or Kashmir. But we are tenants and custodians, not owners

30.07.2025 6

C Y Gopinath

The year of the uncouth Indian

‘Many Indians are arrogant and delusional to the point that they don’t even realise their behaviour is shitty. Our reputation is done.’ —...

22.07.2025 9

C Y Gopinath

The migrant mother’s son’s story

People like Chanda are unacceptable — fleeing failed nations wracked by unrest and crime to seek refuge in countries where they are tolerated or...

16.07.2025 6

C Y Gopinath

An elite heaven on the ruins of hell

The lofty high-rises of Parel stand on land where hundreds of thousands of mill workers once struggled for the simple equity of a roof over their...

09.07.2025 10

C Y Gopinath

Not the last and final call

Each time I board a plane, I realise how like dodos we are, simply not created for the open skies. The airport brings out our inner idiot, making us...

02.07.2025 5

C Y Gopinath

How to gaslight your child

When your ungrateful offspring calls you a bad parent, gaslight them with one of these techniques, developed by the tobacco, alcohol and...

25.06.2025 10

C Y Gopinath

Bad parent? Time to gaslight, Big Pharma style

When your ungrateful offspring calls you a bad parent, gaslight them with one of these techniques, developed by the tobacco, alcohol and...

24.06.2025 10

C Y Gopinath

Then AI happened, just by chance

These contrite, cringing words came almost 24 hours after I’d asked ChatGPT’s deep research tool to create a timeline of Mumbai’s evolution from...

17.06.2025 8

C Y Gopinath

There’s something about TN and TE

What is it about people from Tamil Nadu and Telangana that makes them global powerhouses wherever brain power is the main power?

10.06.2025 10

C Y Gopinath

The wisdom of the urologist

What would you do if you were diagnosed with a cancer that might not kill you if you just let it be? More importantly, what does your urologist say?

04.06.2025 10

C Y Gopinath

How not to ruin the Golfer’s Egg

I have been making a mess of the Golfer’s Egg for decades, laughing shamelessly at each disaster. But last week, the answer was revealed to me in a...

28.05.2025 20

C Y Gopinath

Reynoo Mathur’s life after death

Many pray to be the first of the couple to go, fearing the grief that the loss will bring. But one will go first. The other must deal with the...

21.05.2025 20

C Y Gopinath

One nation, under surveillance

All names have been changed to ensure that the guilty go unpunished, the innocent are jailed or deported, and only approved thoughts are thought

14.05.2025 10

C Y Gopinath

How to cook a Musa Pseudostem

I don’t want no banana fritters, I don’t want no bananas, I don’t want no banana leaf, all I want is some of that ol’ Musa Pseudostem Khich Khach

06.05.2025 10

C Y Gopinath

The secret lives of Mumbai’s pets

Mumbai’s stray animals fall in the grey zone between boundless greed and unbounded compassion, welcome till they become unwelcome

30.04.2025 30

C Y Gopinath

The ATM comes to Tuvalu

The fourth-smallest country in the world is sinking and will soon disappear. The world had a solution: install ATM machines

23.04.2025 10

C Y Gopinath

Did you touch anyone today?

In a world where human contact is a message sent via apps, here are some lessons about our profound need to touch and be touched

16.04.2025 50

C Y Gopinath

The tribe that refused a diet soda

If you’re not invited to a party, would you keep trying to get in? This is what scientists have been doing for centuries with the Sentinelese

08.04.2025 10

C Y Gopinath

How to stunt a child with data

Health standards, such as for height, weight related to age, or obesity and malnutrition, come from research on Europeans and Americans

02.04.2025 10

C Y Gopinath

The Gap, the Wedge, and the Streak

Living in Mumbai means you understand that gaining a foothold and fitting into gaps is how you go forward. It defines both traffic and life

25.03.2025 20

C Y Gopinath

The anekantvada of Mr Jain

Lessons in tolerance and open-mindedness from India’s highly awarded, legendary investor who dresses as humbly as a clerk

18.03.2025 10

C Y Gopinath

Oops, did I just offend you again?

There’s a statue of a naked adolescent in Mohenjo Daro that was socially and culturally brutalised by men who lie to themselves about who we are

11.03.2025 10

C Y Gopinath

The day after deleting Facebook

I hadn’t realised how difficult kicking the Facebook addiction would be. Or how much borderline aggression it would attract from my Facebook ‘friends’

05.03.2025 5

C Y Gopinath

What to do before swiping left

Years later, when words have run dry and you sleep in separate rooms, will you wonder what you should have done differently when you met?

26.02.2025 10

C Y Gopinath

Why it’s time to delete Facebook

I will delete Facebook on March 1. My world will become smaller and easier to manage, with a few genuine friends rather than a thousand faceless ones

19.02.2025 10

C Y Gopinath

Reflections on a little faecal matter

Why do parents shrink from teaching their kids how to clean their bottoms? Maybe we need to deep dive into the Indian notions of purity and pollution

12.02.2025 10

C Y Gopinath

One day they’ll turn you into a cow

When you turn 60, you’ll be retired and put to pasture. But science is now showing that retirement can lead to cognitive decline and an earlier death

05.02.2025 10

C Y Gopinath

When enough is really too much

We live lives of too much. Too many clothes, too many shoes, more food than we can eat—and five times more toothpaste than we need. And there’s a...

28.01.2025 20

C Y Gopinath

The time at the time of the chime

India is 2,933 km from west to east, wide enough for the stars to be out in Kolkata when it is sunset in Mumbai. Anyone know the exact time?

22.01.2025 10

C Y Gopinath

How many islands do you see?

History talks about Bombay’s seven islands. But the Portuguese saw only four, while the British saw two. The real number will surprise you

15.01.2025 10

C Y Gopinath

Can a grandmaster wear a dhoti?

Dress codes are designed to tell you that you are not one of a kind, and don’t you get uppity. A dress code is how you are kept in your place One...

08.01.2025 9

C Y Gopinath

A few big things about small talk

It’s a moment of epiphany to realise that mankind’s problem is not how to end a conversation but why start it in the first place Most human...

31.12.2024 4

C Y Gopinath

Nightmare on the Virar Fast

Six persons per square metre is the norm. Mumbai’s locals carry 16 at rush hour. I learnt what this means when I boarded the Virar Fast Mumbai’s...

24.12.2024 10

C Y Gopinath

What’s the sound of 7.6 billion SMSes?

They bombard their customers with useless messages daily. It’s an epidemic where everyone shouts and no one hears anyone Hundreds of Indian...

17.12.2024 7

C Y Gopinath

How not to treat Yuval Noah Harari

The bookshop had planned a luminous evening of conversation between a beloved star and a visionary author. Here’s what happened Artificial...

10.12.2024 5

C Y Gopinath

A prophet, in his own words

Among ancient hard drives, I found a glitchy file with words apparently translated from the original Aramaic words of Jesus The Gospel of Peace of...

03.12.2024 10

C Y Gopinath

In search of Harrison’s lost guitar

In 1968, George Harrison gave a guitar to a Bandra family. Not realising that the musical instrument was a gift, they kept it in their store room...

26.11.2024 5

C Y Gopinath

The man who did two things well

Can the law stop a person from being multi-faceted? How many skills should one have in a world where skills become obsolete overnight? Recognising...

20.11.2024 20

C Y Gopinath

On becoming comfortably numb

We turn the page and move on now, from wars, brutality, rapes, genocides, lies. How can we bring outrage back into our lives? Unlike anger, which...

13.11.2024 7

C Y Gopinath

How we got grief all wrong

Western psychology tells us we pass through five stages when we grieve. But there’s more to grief than meets the eye I find myself asking questions...

05.11.2024 4

C Y Gopinath

The secret lives of the rupee

In which I finally understand why a great country like India has such a weak currency and why the rupee never shows up at forex bureaus Diving deep...

29.10.2024 3

C Y Gopinath

The problem with never-say-die

In today’s battered, brutal, world, there are enough people who would like to just leave the party. But society won’t let you die in peace, even if...

22.10.2024 4

C Y Gopinath

Letters to Gary Engelberg, RIP

How an intense email exchange lasting five days with a man I had never met, profoundly influenced two decades of my work Gary Engelberg, former...

15.10.2024 6

C Y Gopinath

And you do exactly what, sir?

Most people believe their worth is defined by what they do from 9 to 5. What if you’re one of those youth who does nothing all day? According to...

08.10.2024 4

C Y Gopinath

Kamala’s Chatpata Curry House

They say the White House will smell of curry if Kamala Harris becomes the president. Will someone tell me why that is such a bad thing? I was not...

01.10.2024 3

C Y Gopinath

When five seconds is too long

When you drop food on the floor or the sidewalk, how long is it safe to pick up and eat? Turns out dirt has a lot going for it The flatter and...

24.09.2024 20

C Y Gopinath

The harm three monkeys can do

You can’t act to stop a genocide because you can’t use the word ‘genocide’ until the entire community has been wiped out Those in power teach...

19.09.2024 20

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How to mangle names and get rich

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