Powder-white sand, turquoise waters and 35 degrees. An esky filled with beer, screaming kids playing cricket, exposed skin (as much of it beetroot as nutty brown) as far as the eye can see.

For most Australians, the above scenario is summer personified. For me, it conjures memories of horrible sunburn, sand in my mouth, freezing water (thanks, Victoria) and long afternoons of unbearable heat.

Sunbaking at Melbourne’s St Kilda Beach is an Australian pastime. Credit: Joe Armao

Don’t get me wrong – I love the water. So much so that swimming is my preferred form of exercise. The difference is, my hobby takes place in a climate-controlled pool where there are usually no surprises loitering at the bottom waiting to bite you, and, perhaps most importantly, where there is no sand, or sun ready to sear me to a crisp.

The irony of hating the beach is that I live in St Kilda, one of Australia’s most iconic beach suburbs. Yet, the last time I swam in the bay was in 2020, during lockdown. Faced with swimming in the freezing, slimy, grey-green water in the middle of winter or not exercising at all, I chose the outdoor........

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