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Why you should keep your therapy session even when you don’t have anything to talk about

Toughing out that awkward silence can help deeper issues come to the surface.

Most weeks when I meet with my therapist, she triages some aspect of my life that is actively bursting at the seams — my inability to rationally talk about politics, for example, or the state of my personal finances. But, every so often, life feels uneventful, and I head into sessions with nothing to talk about. On a number of occasions, I’ve considered cancelling these appointments. Why waste 45 minutes of my time and spend $30 on a copay when I feel fine and have nothing to say?

But according to the two therapists I spoke with for this story, these seemingly boring sessions can be incredibly insightful and impactful. In fact, shooting the shit with your therapist can strengthen your bond, help them see how you function during periods of calm, and uncover unaddressed problems. As Claudia Giolitti-Wright, the founder and clinical director of Psychotherapy for Young Women in New York City, tells Vox, “Sessions where a client says, ‘I have nothing to talk about’ — they’re rarely empty. They often reveal something.” So much, in fact, that I left these two interviews convinced that the easy breezy appointments are just as important as the turbulent ones. Here’s why.

Therapists see this all the time — and they know how to deal

If you, like me, often start your sessions by apologizing for “have nothing going on,” consider this permission not to worry or feel awkward. Matt Sosnowsky, a psychotherapist and the founder of Philadelphia Talk Therapy, says he hears this from patients all the time, and it’s no big deal. Therapists are specifically trained to deal with this kind of lull.

“Oftentimes, I’ll just prompt them for an update on what’s been going on,” he says. With clients who are there to work on a specific issue, he’ll follow up on the topics they’ve been working through. With other patients, he’ll keep things more open-ended, asking about........

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